I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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