Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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