i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just pee around me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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