I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
