Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
