I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
