Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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