ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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