yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
