I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
