If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You ruined the universe
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
