So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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