god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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