u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
