am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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