her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she peed on how many people?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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