so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
