Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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