the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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