I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
