She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
