What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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