Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
