I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
