The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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