no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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