I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
