At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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