my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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