I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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