Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
