Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
