I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
