Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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