tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we made out on top of his cat.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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