why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
