: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
