So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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