He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
