so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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