we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
