You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
