Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
