ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
