I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize