Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
