What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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