The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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