At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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