i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
