ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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