i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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