Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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