There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
