Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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